Why do I do it again

I don’t understand

What is different here

It is like there is a separate set of laws

An alternate reality

That appears to be the same

Simple things won’t work here

Understandings come

Nothing changes

Is that possible

A long constant

A battle that is unending

Bleeding flow

Leaving me tried

Unable to function

Death and life are the same here

They linger with a stench

The corpses walk though actions

The meaning out of grasp

Not knowing if they are dead or alive

They seek life

But they are denied

They seek death fully

And they are denied

This walk between the worlds

It consumes me

I am left to function as ashes

There are no connections

I thirst but there is no water here

Only sand and dirt

My ashes are spread

They cannot touch

Fading

But still feeling

There is no reunion

Only black dirt

That stands between us

We are expected to nourish

But we are nothing

Have nothing

But this long constant

 

Engtovo ~ September 10, 2008